Deployment Day

Its never easy saying goodbye to someone you love. Especially your spouse! I watch these shows like Wife Swap, or other reality shows where people are separated from there loved ones for like a couple weeks or 30 days,, and I think wow "I wish I had it that easy" ... LOL! This is our 4th deployment and not the longest but probably the hardest for sure. The first 3 tours were in Iraq and while not a safe place by any means, much more safe than Afghanistan according to my husband. I am in a state of constant worry with this deployment. I dont think a month has gone by since we moved here that  a soldier hasnt died from this base in the war there. At a pre-deployment briefing my husband's battalion was told by the general to "look around, at least 100 of you wont be coming home"!!! WTF? You cant be serious right now, thats all I could think. How could you tell someone that? 

I have live by faith right now. I have to be strong for my babies. I cried in the last few minutes after he boarded the bus, my son fought back the tears trying to be strong for his sisters and me.  I tried to make the last few days before he left the best I could, just in case he doesnt come back. But I have to walk by faith, because if I let my mind control me, Ill be a wreck for next 12 months!!

I wish I had friends here. I think thats the hardest part. I keep to myself, I dont go clubbing and stuff like that so I really dont have an outlet for socializing. I joined a meet-up group for salsa dancing though. But I havent gone to any of the meet-ups...LOL. Maybe in the next couple weeks Ill put my big girl panties on and just do it already! Whats there to lose, right?!

Pray for me ya'll.... pray for me